I wish I could have a do-over of an experience in 2007.
I worked for a VP of HR who was losing his job in a company-wide reorganization program. I had one foot out the door, too, and there was no love lost between the two of us. I spoke my mind. He spoke his. It was a sad level of dysfunction, and I never missed an opportunity to be a bitch for the sake of keeping myself entertained.
When it was confirmed that the VP of HR was scheduled to leave, one of my colleagues asked me to take a professional portrait as a gift to the VP. My picture would be included as part of a larger departmental gift of some kind.
I said no.
Just like that.
My colleague, who was a nice guy, wouldn’t let it die. I walked into his office in midtown Manhattan and he told me I was being ridiculous and immature. I was. He insisted that I have my picture taken. I said, fine, you want me in the picture? Take it now. I was wearing the ugliest wrinkle-free gray pants and a black cardigan from Talbots, very little make-up, and my hair was in a ponytail. I took my hair down. This is how I looked.
Yup, that’s me in an office in Manhattan circa 2007. Shut up. Don’t laugh. I’m eating humble pie, here.
When I see this picture, I see a passive-aggressive, chubby, cranky soccer mom who can’t help but smile at a camera even though she is mad. I look like a woman who has given up on her career and opted for mediocrity and donuts.
I had.
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When I think back on this whole experience, I’m filled with regret. While I still don’t think the VP did a great job, none of it matters because it’s Human-freaking-Resources. We weren’t solving the world’s problems. We were working in a corporate function.
I should have kept my mouth shut and made a bigger deal out of more important things.
I hope that one day, if I’m lucky, I’ll get laid off in a company-wide restructuring effort and someone will rally the troops to give me a going away gift.
Also, I wish I could go back in time and tell myself to clean up a little for work. You never know when someone will take your picture.
What I’m disgruntled about currently… is the long online application process of many organizations. I’ve spent upwards of 6+ hours for a good job submission… carefully constructing my cover letter, researching the company a bit, tailoring my resume to that position, crafting essays…. taking online personality tests, skills assessments, etc. Only to hear nothing. Or to receive a generic email two months later that the position was not created. I understand why the online submission process is lengthy… but after countless lengthy submissions, I am tired and pessimistic. Ho hum!
I have been rejected, both professionally and personally, more than any other woman you know. I put myself out there in a very public way. Sometimes it works for me. Sometimes I fail spectacularly.
Although I have an ego and I don’t like to hear bad news, it doesn’t bother me to be rejected 95% of the time. The 5% that comes through is awesome. I’ll take it.
Having experienced both highs and lows in my life, I know that the art of rejection is lost. We live in a society that fears conflict. This is true at work, in our families, and in our personal lives. It takes a strong person to look another human being in the eyes and say no. When that person is finally courageous enough to have a difficult but honest conversation — whether it’s a loved one, a colleague, or a peer — the other person often flips out. The intended message is often lost in drama and misunderstanding.
Knowing that rejection is such a pain-in-the-ass, many employers and loved ones would rather say nothing than engage in the turmoil. It’s a shame. I think there’s something important that can come out of a good-old-fashioned conversation where someone is told NO.
Rejection can provide an opportunity to move forward in a new direction. If you’ve been waiting for a sign, this is it.
Rejection provides clarity and puts the ball in your court. Once you’ve been rejected, you regain control and you can choose where your life goes next.
Rejection gives you a chance to look back and see that maybe, just maybe, you dodged a bullet.
Do we lack emotional maturity as a society? Are we destined to operate out of impulse to protect our fractured egos?
Take it from a woman who has been told NO more than she’s been told YES:
Just because you have been passed over doesn’t mean you won’t be considered for future roles and opportunities.
The timing for your success might not be right.
The role you are destined to fill might not be open, right now.
There may be an incumbent in a position who hasn’t moved into a better role, herself.
No one has ever accused me of being an optimist, and I’m hardly sentimental about life. I just hope that when you are rejected, whether professionally or personally, you stop and think before you react. Those feelings of worthlessness and sadness were in your head before you heard the bad news.
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Here’s a final thought. You might be doing everything right and it might not make a difference. The hiring process, like most of life, isn’t in your control. Once you know what you can and can’t control, you can put the rejection into context and move on to something better.
Happy Sunday! I want to recognize my friend, Jennifer Hughes, who works in the Public Affairs/Media department at SHRM. Jenny has been a supporter of Punk Rock HR since I first started writing this blog. (I hope that doesn’t get her fired.) She is so helpful when I need information and data from SHRM. Whenever I can’t figure something out, Jenny is there to lend a hand.
Some people wonder why an anti-establishment blogger would remain an active member of a large HR association — and it’s because of women like Jenny. She makes that organization great.
Jenny, you are awesome. Thanks for sending me this poll on Super Bowl office stuff. I can’t imagine that people still have office pools on a stupid football game — or that anyone calls in sick after the Oscars — but they do. Bizarre.
Today’s post was sparked when I saw an ad from James Diagle on Facebook.
I’d like to thank Laurie for the opportunity to guest post on Punk Rock HR. Laurie clicked on one of my Facebook ads that I use to drive traffic to my job search website, and was kind enough to let me share with you all how my job search has gone so far.
I’m a December, 2009 graduate of UNC-Chapel Hill with a degree in Interpersonal and Organizational Communications, and I’ve been looking for a job for about two months. I started my search about a month before I graduated. Like a lot of people, I posted my resume on sites like Monster and Careerbuilder, applied for open positions that I found online, and waited. And, like a people, I quickly realized that I wasn’t getting very far. A month after my first wave of applications, I had heard nothing back from any of the positions I had applied for. In fact, as I sit here two months later, the rejection emails from those twenty-odd positions are just starting to roll in.
The only success I had in the first month of my search was with an ad that I posted in the “Resume” section of Craigslist, entitled “UNC Grad Seeks Non-lameass job” for an HR Manager’s reaction to this ad. A Director at UNC Family Medicine saw this ad and had his secretary call me in for an interview. Unfortunately, over 200 people had applied for this position and, as a 25 year old recent college grad, I didn’t stand a chance.
I decided that I needed to get more exposure to potential employers by establishing a web presence. After getting the runaround from a local web designer, I decided to make a website on my own: www.jbdaigle.com. I set my resume as the home page, posted reference letters from employers and testimonials from clients of my moving company, and included my contact information. In order to drive traffic to the site, I made targeted Facebook and LinkedIn ads and networked with appropriate individuals and groups through my professional Facebook profile, Facebook fan page, Twitter, Brazen Careerist, Linkedin, etc.
After a month of online marketing and networking and over 750 unique visits to my website, I’ve landed a handful of interviews, but nothing promising. The interviews were either for positions I didn’t particularly care for, like working “fast-paced” sales positions, or with people that I didn’t mesh with. For instance, one particularly old-school recruiter in Raleigh scolded me for drinking water during an interview.
Despite the rough start, my efforts have not been in vain. Through my networking, I’ve gotten some valuable advice and help from UNC alums and kind souls like Laurie who want to help however they can. I’ll continue to network and apply for positions and I’m hopeful that I’ll eventually land that cool job I’m looking for.
You knew it was coming because it’s Friday, no one is really working, and everyone is talking about the Super Bowl — America’s only secular holiday that keeps getting infused with politics and religion.
It’s Friday, and I simply want to know what you’re eating on Super Bowl Sunday. Aren’t food and commercials the real reason for the game?
Scratch that. The real reason for the Super Bowl is The Puppy Bowl!
I recommend that job seekers get up, get away from their computers, and connect with people in real life.
Has anyone actually done this? Have you initiated a break from social media websites for an hour? A day? A week? What were your experiences? Did you come back feeling refreshed? Did you recalibrate your job search while you were away? Did you make or solidify meaningful connections?
Or did you miss the computer? Did you wonder if you missed out on a job lead because you were away from the screen? Did you feel a longing to connect on Facebook? Did you go back and count how many times your name was mentioned on Twitter?
If you want your job interview to go south in a hurry, try to be funny.
There’s nothing worse than a candidate who tries to make a joke that falls flat on its face. It’s awkward for the interviewer, and more importantly, it makes the interviewee look like a chump.
Naturally funny people understand that humor is all about timing and opportunity. They stalk their jokes like prey. When the moment is right, they’ll crack a one-liner that kills the room.
If you see an opportunity to make a witty observation during your interview, go for it. Say what you have to say without ego, pretense, or a shred of neediness in your voice. Deliver your observation with confidence and poise. Just make sure that whatever you have to say is as witty as you think it is. Don’t gaze at the interviewer with your big, eager eyes at wait for the laugh, either. It’s not coming.
Last week, I wrote a very geeky post on metrics. I wanted to think about measuring social media’s impact on career websites.
Out of the blue, Brian Kevin Johnston suggested that we measure passion. He capitalized it and added an exclamation mark.
PASSION!!
My first reaction was strong. I’m a cynic and a realistic, and I thought there was no way you can measure passion in a meaningful way and demonstrate the result in an authentic, honest metric. It’s like forcing people to have fun. Just not possible.
Furthermore, I wonder if your organization has any business measuring passion. In my mind, passion is reserved for food, cats, and celebrity gossip. For some people, passion is reserved for love, sex, and beer. You can have a passion for great hotels and you can have passion for beautiful women. Passion for work is fine, but it’s yours. You own it. It doesn’t belong to the company, and I’m not sure if your organization should be measuring it.
Does anyone want to talk about passion, today? Is it a public commodity? What’s the role of passion at work? Should companies quantify it? Should passion be a metric? Is passion a competitive advantage for employees and businesses?
It’s the time of year when many of you are writing your self-assessments and participating in annual reviews.
Some of you will hear bad news. You didn’t meet expectations. You failed to achieve your professional goals. You won’t qualify for a merit increase, and let’s be honest: most people see their worth and contribution to the company reflected in the annual pay raise.
Here is my simple request. I am asking you to NOT freak out.
I know, I know. It’s tough.
As your friendly HR advisor, I want you know that you cannot re-litigate 2009. It is pointless to write a legal brief that defends your behavior and makes people see you in a different light. You can appeal your performance review and ask for more money, but it rarely ends in your favor. It makes you look punitive and vindictive. People will say, “He just doesn’t get it.”
Please keep your head about you and don’t take it all so personally. Spend some time figuring out how you’ll make 2010 the last year where your company’s assessment process pierces your heart and deflates your ego. Think about a new job. Think about a new career. Think about living the kind of life where it doesn’t matter what your boss or supervisor thinks about you.
You do this. I know you can. Make 2010 a year of change — not a year of anger and resentment.
Jess left 
